Paris: Indian para-shuttler Suhas Yathiraj is an emotional mess after his second successive Paralympic silver. A part of him is proud of the achievement but then he is also grappling with feelings of "sadness and disappointment" at missing out on gold.
The 41-year-old went into the ongoing Games as world no.1 and was expected to fetch gold in men's singles SL4 category. However, he ended with a silver, going down in straight games to Lucas Mazur of France in the summit clash on Monday evening.
"...coming here as world no.1 and as world champion, there was pressure and expectations on me. I too expected that I will do well here. Ideally I would have liked to win gold medal, which is every players dream," he said on Tuesday.
"Winning the silver is a mixed feeling, there is sadness and disappointment of missing the gold. But when the feeling sinks in then you will realise qualifying for Paralympics and representing your country was a big thing.
"And winning the silver is a proud moment and I feel extremely humbled and grateful," added the 2007 batch IAS officer.
Suhas looked tentative in the summit clash and was no match for the formidable Frenchman, losing 9-21 13-21. It was the same opponent against whom the Indian had lost in the Tokyo Paralympics final. Asked to compare the two silver medals, Suhas said: "Earlier the country and myself didn't have the belief that we can win medals in Paralympics badminton. I had no idea what my performance would be. That was a different kind of feeling.
"Both the silver medals had their challenges. As I said, the first time people don't take you so seriously until you perform at the highest level. But playing under expectations in itself is a different kind of pressure." Born with a congenital deformity in his left ankle, which significantly affected his mobility, Suhas competes in SL4 category which is meant for athletes competing while standing with less severe impairment than in SL3.
The gold might have eluded him again, but Suhas said the journey has been enjoyable.
"When I started this Paralympics qualification journey, I had not played for one-two years and was world no. 39. From there to reach top-12 and then qualify for Level-1 tournaments and from there to win Asian Para Games gold, world championships gold, become world no.1...you need to enjoy this journey," he said.
Suhas, an Arjuna awardee, feels Tokyo 2020 was a "watershed moment" for Indian Olympic and Paralympic sports.
"There is huge change that para sports has witnessed. Tokyo 2020 was watershed moment for Indian para sports and Indian Olympic sports in general.
"Everyone knows cricket is popular in India but in the last many years, the way Olympic sports and Paralympics sports have received support from the society is unimaginable.
"In the coming years it will only grow and that will improve our medal tally as well," he signed off.