Will King Charles III be the Mikhail Gorbachev of the English monarchy?

Kolkata: As the old Queen is finally laid to rest,the spotlight will soon be deflected to the new King,  CEO of The Firm at the age of 73. A tantalising opportunity for him to gain life membership to posterity will be the abdication of monarchy, as in institutional, and not personal like Grand Uncle Edward VIII.

It is valuable to note that the UK taxpayers spend in excess of $120 million dollars annually to maintain the royal family, with a large chunk going towards property maintenance. While a part of this is arguably offset against tourism revenues, there is little doubt that modern multicultural Britons are often embarrassed by such anachronistic pageantry. Societies have evolved significantly and in the new metaverse world order, the functionality of hierarchical privilege is quite obsolete, unless you are a fanboy of Pyongyang.

To boot, the new King is not exactly the halo embellished perfect symbol of lineage leadership, and neither most certainly is his family. Notably, the dramatic escapades of Lady Diana leading to the Paris crash and his subsequent marriage to divorcee Camilla which could not be officially endorsed by the Queen as head of the Church of England. Meghan Markle’s candid outburst in the Oprah Winfrey show further exposed the frailties of the Crown, clearly unprepared for any form of genuine heterogeneity. During his seemingly endless period of titular courtship, Charles III has led a largely no existence, not performing any prominent diplomatic or military function.

Now, the Soviet Union was certainly not as durable an entity as the British monarchy but its domination over subjects was surely even more decisive. This included the hapless Warsaw Pact nations, freed from Nazi tyranny by an even more oppressive actor and my travels to this region confirm the culture of organic oppression. Glasnost and Perestroika initially introduced Gorbachev’s home country to free speech and a free economy, the latter unhappily orchestrated by Mafiosi oligarchs. But it certainly set up a democratic Eastern Europe performing promisingly and Central Asian nations in particular, have risen spectacularly with the unshackling of the politburo. The perpetrator who died recently is often considered a villain by his own citizens but hailed as an emissary of civilization by nations adding up to double figures.

To cut to the chase, in case I am interrupting your mourning of the departed, Charles III can be easily inspired by Mikhail Gorbachev, to conjure a lasting legacy that makes tons of good sense. As well as follow the lucrative practice of some of his family’s former cronies, the princes of India who became successful hoteliers after Nehru's daughter ruthlessly erased their privy purses. For starters, I am certain that the ample ambit of English law will permit an existing monarch, with the consent of his kin, to abolish the very principles that propelled this institution, in deference to the demands of the ages. Any large consulting firm would gladly partner this transition, to ensure a significant financial future for the family while unburdening the exchequer, and I wish to suggest a suitable template.

Firstly, the King must influence parliament to abolish the monarchy, with the assurance that historical rights would be suitably maintained for due sustenance, in terms of housing and cash. The palaces that define their lineage, Buckingham included, would become luxury hotels and public museums, following the Umaid Bhawan Palace model. Financial assets of the family, or should I say The Firm, would become Government property and suitably reinvested for the common good. The cast and crew of the Royal family will be allowed to retain their titular accolades and societal functions, not diplomatic, and their magnetism as a sociocultural currency will depend on their choice of the Image Management agency. Most significantly, the Royal family can easily become the Disneyland equivalent for British Tourism, with unimaginable opportunities for revenue extortion, a modified business model of their charming colonial predecessors.

In all this, you may well ask, what happens to the Kohinoor? I must confess that its rightful place is indeed the current, for the empire was both witness to and integrator of the finest civilisations on the planet. Let it reside as a genuine commonwealth, not to be confused with the decadent Commonwealth, and India be given due credit for its origins. History is more potent than the finest GPS technology, and we eventually end up embracing the roots.